Aubade

Just one last look before I go
As the morning light tenderly caresses
Ridges and valleys of time,
Revealing the years in your face.

My skin tingles with the echo of your full lips,
The memory brushing over me like a warm breeze
Of passion aged like fine wine.

Brows unfurrowed in sleep
Release in me an urge to trace
That ridge over bottomless eyes now hidden.
The cares of the day briefly
Relinquishing their hold over you.

Breath that tickled my neck
And whispered in my ear
Now sighs deeply in sleep’s embrace
As you roam where I cannot follow.

Do you dream of simpler days?

If you were to wake
Would you draw me back to you,
Dismissing the obligations of the day?

But for the furrowed brow, I would return.

Yet I must go.
Sleep on, my love,
Though I must leave,
My heart remains with you.


 

<a href=”http://yeahwrite.me/fiction-poetry-writing-challenge-247/”><img src=”http://yeahwrite.me/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/fiction247.png”></a&gt;

9 thoughts on “Aubade

  1. I really like how you made the “you” of this poem a landscape: the wrinkles, the brow, ridges, valleys. The line “as you roam where I cannot follow” was the strongest image for me. “passion aged like fine wine” felt a little limp in comparison.

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    1. You are so good at pointing out the things I don’t realize I’m doing. I didn’t realize I had a landscape theme until you pointed it out. (What a novice, right?) Your comment on the wine image stung at first, but I immediately realized that you were right. There was something about that stanza that was bothering me and you hit it on the head. I guess I liked the line itself and didn’t see how it didn’t fit into the whole. Thanks for the feedback. I really appreciate it.

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  2. A wonderful tenderness here, and the maturity of the love shown not only by the “years in your face” but by the unselfish acknowledgment of the beloved’s need for a rest from the world’s cares. ๐Ÿ™‚

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  3. “Breath that tickled my neck
    And whispered in my ear
    Now sighs deeply in sleepโ€™s embrace
    As you roam where I cannot follow.

    Do you dream of simpler days?”

    This is my favorite part; I love the imagery. Beautifully written. ๐Ÿ™‚

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